Conflict Resolution Project

Project Description:

Fight on the School Bus:

Fight on the School Bus
Conflict Resolution Project
April 12, 2004-April 17, 2004

Scenario:

The vice-principal for discipline at a local middle school received a phone call from Mrs. Chandler soon after school opened one Wednesday morning. She reported that her son, Victor, had been attacked by Ozzie on the school bus the previous afternoon. In addition, Victor had been taken to the emergency room for treatment and would be absent from school for a few days. The altercation occurred while the young men (both in the 8th grade) were riding home on the school bus. Ozzie struck Victor with his fists and Victor struck back. After the brief scuffle, the young men separated and went home to recover. Ozzie reported having a sore jaw and face. Victor reported that he felt dizzy, nauseous, had a headache, and his glasses were broken. When his mother returned from work, she took Victor to a hospital emergency room. There, they determined that he had a slight concussion. Medical personnel at the hospital suggested that Mrs. Chandler report the incident to the police that evening and to his school the next day. Victor missed three days of school. Several weeks later Ozzie was suspended from the bus for 3 days because of his involvement. Nothing else seemed to be happening on the case until several months later when Mr. Battier, Ozzie's father, was contacted by the police. The police asked the school to handle the reconciliation on this conflict and try to make things right between the two boys.

Description of the Disputants:

Disputant 1 - Kristy Sands(Ozzie) – Ozzie is an eighth grade boy who believed that Victor was planning to have him “jumped” and that the fight on the bus was preemptory. Ozzie expressed no feelings of remorse about hurting Victor but rather was primarily willing to “leave Victor alone” in the future. He was heard to say, “I would go to jail before I would pay a penny toward the medical bills!” But, Ozzie’s father was very influential in his life, and he was encouraging Ozzie to get a better attitude about working things out.

Disputant 2 - James Jones(Victor) – Victor is an eighth grade boy who didn’t suspect that Ozzie was going to fight him. He conjectured that a mutual friend who seemed to switch allegiances may have agitated Ozzie. Victor was eager to try and work things out since he sorta liked Victor and had a known him for 4 or 5 years, and he was a neighbor. In addition, there was a $250 medical bill that Mrs. Chandler had paid, beyond what the insurance covered. She was hoping to recover those expenses in restitution. In addition, she was very eager to work things our so that Ozzie’s record would be cleared. As it happened, she had known Ozzie for several years since the two families were from the same neighborhood.

Summary of Ozzie’s story:

Ozzie heard that Victor told Joey that he was going to jump him so he felt he had to do something first. He said he would not pay for anything because he “had it coming”. He stated that Victor should be punished for threatening him and then he would leave him alone.

Summary of Victor’s story:

Victor claims he was attacked for no reason at all. Once he was attacked, he had to defend himself. He said he did not regret fighting back. He also said that since his glasses broke in the fight, Ozzie owes him new glasses and the cost of the medical bills. He had to go to the hospital for injuries and had to pay $250 after insurance covered the rest. He ended up missing three days of school as well. Victor stated that Ozzie should have been suspended earlier. He claimed that he never told or planned to jump anyone.

Possible Solutions:

1. Ozzie will leave Victor alone once Victor is punished for threatening him.
2. Both boys could just have a talk with Joey to find out why he spread that rumor.
3. They could hold Joey down and take turns beating him up for what he has done.
4. Both boys could talk to Joey and explain that they would appreciate him not spreading rumors anymore.
5. They could egg Joey’s house.
6. Both boys could pick on Joey from now on to get back at him.

Resolution Package:

Both boys agreed to forgive each other and talk to Joey. They want Joey to understand that they would appreciate him not spreading rumors anymore. They decided they want to remain friends and spend some quality time together.

Narrative Critique:

I really enjoyed completing this assignment. I feel this way of solving problems and conflicts can be very useful and effective. However, I also think that there are certain conflicts in which face-to-face conversation would be more effective.

This was an asynchronous conflict. That made it easy to make sure everyone was participating. It also helped each participant to think before they reacted to what was being said.

The conversation started off with some anger and rude comments. After I was able to settle down the disputants, we were able to come to a resolution. The beginning was not smooth because there was much anger between the two disputants. One problem with solving a problem in this way is that it is difficult sometimes to understand how serious someone is. It is hard to tell their true emotions when we are only reading their words. There really were not any problems that occurred. The entire assignment went well and we were able to complete it in a timely manner. I believe there will be many more conflicts solved in this way in the future.

Mediation Conversation Log

Report prepared by Sheree Park

4th Grade Project Team Conflict:

Title of Conflict:
4th Grade Project Team Conflict

Dates of Mediation Sessions:
Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Description of Disputants:
Disputant 1 (Jimmy) Laura Hlinka
Disputant 2 (Sheila) Glenda Fahey

This scenario is based on the story, “Tale of a Fourth Grade Nothing,” written by Judith Blume. The students are working together on a group project about transportation. They encounter many problems throughout their mission to complete the project including arguing over what color the poster board should be, the poster getting ruined, and threats of tearing up the report.

Jimmy claims that, “Sheila thinks she’s smarter than me…just because she’s a girl!” He only puts up with her because he has to. Jimmy wanted to write in his biggest handwriting to fill up the five pages that he has to write. After several disagreements Jimmy said, “Working together doesn’t mean you give the orders and we carry them out.”

Sheila is not happy with her group and tells the other members that they fool around more than they work. She said that she would be in charge of the booklet and the others could do the poster, but only if they check with her first and she likes their ideas. She brings the booklet home with her because she doesn’t trust the other members. She really did it when she wrote, “handwritten by Miss Sheila Tubman,” on the cover of the report.

Sheila and Jimmy finally went to their teacher Mrs. Haver to help solve this conflict.

Summary of Jimmy’s story:
Jimmy felt that Sheila took over the project and told everybody what to do and put down the work that the others did because it was not good enough. Sheila wrote the paper because she had the nicest handwriting and when she put only her name on the cover of the report Jimmy was not pleased. He did not write only his name on the poster. Overall Jimmy felt that Sheila was bossing everybody around and was not being very pleasant to work with.

Summary of Sheila’s story:
Sheila was mainly concerned with the grade that she would earn on the project and felt as if the other member of the group would bring the grade down. She did not experience any problems when working with other students and was merely giving “constructive suggestions” to the other group members.

Clarifying Questions that were asked:
~ So you’re both telling me that the problem here is that each of you feel that the group had some problems with who was going to do what?
~ You both feel like the other didn’t do their job properly?
~ What can we do to solve this problem so that you can hand in an outstanding transportation project?

Listing of solutions offered:
~ Assignment of jobs
~ Completing jobs that each are good at
~ Working on getting along
~ Everybody tried their hardest and wanted to get a good grade
~ People do things differently, their isn’t just one right or wrong way
~ Praise for solving other problems within the group

Statement of the Resolution Package:
Both students decided that they would use the following rules to ensure that they would be better members of a group:
~ Define jobs and roles
~ Give credit to everybody in the group
~ Focus on doing your best, not what everybody else is doing
~ Focus on doing your best, not on the grade you will get
~ Let your group members know when they are doing a good job
~ Grades reflect not only work, but also attitude and team work
~ Write reflections about the groups efforts, attitudes and team work

Narrative Critique of the Mediation:
I felt that my approach to the situation could have been much stronger. I work with middle school students and mediating problems works much differently. Older students tend to know the rules of working out a problem and usually can solve the problem with little assistance. My inexperience with younger students was definitely apparent.

I made one tremendous mistake, which was not stating the rules up front. I did however address them throughout the meeting. I have found that older students have already mastered these rules and it did not even occur to me that these issues would arise. Some of my questions should have been specifically directed to one disputant and not to both of them, because often only one of them would respond. I feel that if I had been in a face-to-face setting with this problem I would have acted and reacted differently. I also feel that I would have had more control over the flow of the conversation. Body language and tone of voice really make a huge impact in a confrontational situation.

I tried to follow the guidelines provided however, I felt like the conversations moved so quickly that I missed some of the statements while reading, writing, and planning my next plan of action. Both disputants displayed such bold qualities and personalities, which made it real easy to role-play. The disputants knew their roles and enjoyed challenging one another as well as myself! This activity was incredibly informative not only about conflict resolution, but also in instructional technologies.

Mediation Conversation Log:
KristyS: Mediator: So Jimmy and Sheila, can one of you tell me what has happened with you r transportation project?
GlendaF: well,
LauraH: Jimmy I can
GlendaF: i'll tell you what happened!
LauraH: u always go first
LauraH: u think u are the boss
KristyS: Jimmy you tell me first and then Sheila you will have a chance.
GlendaF: he might get it wrong!
LauraH: thank you
GlendaF: ok
LauraH: Well Mrs. Haver was having us work on a transportation project together
LauraH: Sheila assigned the jobs
LauraH: she told us to do the poster
LauraH: we would do the poster
GlendaF: but that's because they don't write very well
LauraH: We wanted a blue poster board but she made us buy yellow
KristyS: Sheila wait your turn!
GlendaF: sorry
LauraH: she did not trust us to do anything
LauraH: she always talked to us like she was the boss
LauraH: Peter and I designed the whole poster with pros and cons
LauraH: and then she made fun of my drawings
LauraH: working together does not mean u are the boss
LauraH: or give all of the orders
LauraH: then when she was writing the paper
LauraH: some of which peter and I wrote
LauraH: she only put her name on the front page
GlendaF: I put your names, too!
LauraH: like she did all of the work herself
LauraH: but not like u wrote your name
KristyS: Sheila, please wait!
GlendaF: I’m sorry, but he's not telling it right
LauraH: u said copied by Sheila
KristyS: Continue Jimmy.
LauraH: well that's about it I am tired of being bossed around and
LauraH: she needs to be nicer and work together
LauraH: we did the report too
LauraH: and the poster
KristyS: Sheila....do you have anything to add?
GlendaF: well,,,,
GlendaF: I want to be sure I keep my straight A's in all of my classes, and Mrs. Haver put us in committees, and Jimmy and Peter don't get very good grades. But I have to be on the same committee, so
LauraH: we do too get good grades
LauraH: we never miss an assignment
GlendaF: I just want to be sure our project is good. I said I would even do most of the work if they would just draw on the poster.
KristyS: What has happened with the transportation project?
GlendaF: I would do most of the writing, and do the booklet, too.
LauraH: that's not working together
GlendaF: I worked very hard to write a good report. I even copied their pages in the booklet so it would be very neat.
KristyS: Jimmy you had your turn, let Sheila explain her side of the story.
LauraH: ok but make sure you tell the whole truth
GlendaF: Mrs. Haver gives us all the same grade, you know, so I get worried when other kids don't do such good work.
GlendaF: I am telling the truth!
LauraH: the truth according to sheila
KristyS: Sheila Jimmy had his turn...please tell me what happened.
GlendaF: then, just because I wrote that I copied the pages in the booklet, they got all upset. I said they wrote the stuff, but I just said i did the copying. I have very nice handwriting, and I wanted it to look good.
GlendaF: Then, they grabbed it away from me and said they would tear it up.
GlendaF: They wouldn't give it back after all of the work I did to make it nice.
GlendaF: i didn't tear their poster.
GlendaF: even though it wasn't that good.
GlendaF: I just made some constructive suggestions to them about how they could make it better, and they don't seem to care if it's not that good.
LauraH: there u go again being the boss and putting us down
GlendaF: i wouldn't say anything if you would do a good job
KristyS: So you're both telling me that the problem here is that each of you feel that the group had some problems with who was going to do what????
GlendaF: I get all A
LauraH: see she puts us down
GlendaF: A's, and I don't want to get a bad grade.
LauraH: all the time
LauraH: boss boss boss
GlendaF: if you would do better work, I wouldn't say anything.
LauraH: that's why no one wants to be your friend
GlendaF: I didn't have this problem when I was on a committee with Karen and Mary.
GlendaF: We all split the work, and everyone did a good job.
LauraH: they just pretend to like u
KristyS: You both feel like the other didn't do their job properly?
LauraH: she was just too bossy and mean to work with I worked with peter fine
KristyS: What can we do to solve this problem so that you can turn in an outstanding transportation poster?
KristyS: Jimmy, what do you think?
GlendaF: they don't get good grades like I do, so I just wanted to be sure our project was good - I even did most of the work so they didn't have to!
LauraH: The poster is great peter and I have worked on it for weeks
LauraH: u took the project away
GlendaF: yeah, and you couldn't even keep you little brother away from it - see what happened then!
LauraH: we took care of that
KristyS: I agree that problem has been solved.
LauraH: we redid the whole thing when peter's brother ruined the poster
GlendaF: it was a good thing I did most of the work because you had to spend all your time doing it over!
LauraH: we still wrote 5 pages each on the paper
LauraH: so we did 10 and u did 5
KristyS: Do you think that this project would have been easier if you would have been assigned jobs?
LauraH: maybe
GlendaF: no, you both did 5 together, and i did 10
LauraH: then she could not boss us around
LauraH: Peter and I like to draw
LauraH: and Sheila likes to write
GlendaF: they probably wouldn't do a good job, though
LauraH: It was just not fun being bossed around
KristyS: And you did a great job drawing, but you didn't do such a great job of getting along with one another and we need to work on that. KristyS: Are you both willing to work on that?
GlendaF: how can we do that when the project is so important?
GlendaF: if they don't do it well, we won't get a good grade.
KristyS: One thing that you need to keep in mind is that everybody tried their hardest on this project and it resulted in an awesome poster!
LauraH: thanks
LauraH: the paper is done too
KristyS: I can see that you all put forth a lot of effort and wanted to get a good grade.
GlendaF: but he took the booklet away
GlendaF: and said he would tear it up ;'
KristyS: I just hope that next time you have to work together or with other people that you will know that some people do things differently.
LauraH: only until u put all of the names on the report in the same way
GlendaF: cries
LauraH: "bossy girls"
KristyS: Good thing that you were both able to solve that problem though and that was a very good that you were able to settle that problem...I am proud of you!
LauraH: Peter and I only want the same credit for the project as u are giving yourself
LauraH: we did not put our names on the poster
GlendaF: i know, but what about when you really want to get an A? But I did put your names on the booklet! I don't know why you're so upset that I said I handwrote the pages!
KristyS: Sheila do you have anything to say to Jimmy that may help solve this problem?
GlendaF: He should be glad I did so much of the work. It will help him get a better grade.
LauraH: Please take out the handwritten by sheila part
KristyS: Sheila, would you have wanted Jimmy and Peter to only have put their names on the poster?
GlendaF: why does he want it to be just "average?"
GlendaF: I wouldn't really care because they didn't have such good ideas anyway.
LauraH: U see what we had to work with
GlendaF: and I didn't say they didn't write anything - just that I copied the pages.
KristyS: Sheila did you tell them that they had such good ideas?
GlendaF: I just gave them some suggestions to make it better. I'm very creative.
LauraH: they were not nice
LauraH: she said I drew a flying train
GlendaF: but it would make the poster better
GlendaF: well, it looked like it was flying!
KristyS: I think that if you had said something nice to say to them about their work then they would have been nice to you about your work.
LauraH: yes we would have
GlendaF: but I did good work
LauraH: so did we
GlendaF: i always work very hard to make my work the best
LauraH: we did not say anything about your paper
LauraH: and we worked very hard too - our best
KristyS: You all did great work, but now we need to decide how you can work better with one another next time!
GlendaF: that's because it was a good paper. maybe you worked hard, but..
LauraH: next time???
LauraH: UUUGH
GlendaF: I'd really rather not work in committees anyway unless we can pick the people we can work with. that way we know we can get along and always do our share.
KristyS: Next time you have to work with other students...I hope that you can come up with a way so that this does not happen again.
GlendaF: but what about our graaaaadddeeeee?
LauraH: do not let her be the boss
KristyS: Sometimes you have to work with people you may not want to work with but you have to learn to deal with it!
LauraH: and be NICE
GlendaF: even if their work isn't as good as yours?
KristyS: Your grade will reflect your participation as well as your attitude towards each other.
LauraH: SIGH our work was as good as yours
GlendaF: I don't like to hand in something that isn't my best.
KristyS: If you try as ahrdas you can your teacher will be so proud of you.
GlendaF: I guess I want the teacher to know what part I did so she knows I did the good part.
KristyS: hard as (sorry its late)
LauraH: so if your grade is based on getting along sheila would u be nicer??
KristyS: Would it help if you wrote a paragraph to your teacher about what you did in the group, what problems you had, and what you did to solve them?
GlendaF: i try to be nice, but good grades are important to me for my future.
GlendaF: maybe
LauraH: they are important to us too
LauraH: that's why we redid the poster
LauraH: and we really did a great job
GlendaF: you had to redo the poster - it had stuff drawn all over it!
KristyS: I think these are things that are important to your teacher...not just learning about transportation, but learning how to get along with others!
GlendaF: i guess, but the project????
GlendaF: I get along with mostly everyone.
KristyS: I think your poster deserves an A+, but your behavior towards one another was about a C- and I know you can do better than that.
GlendaF: i guess....
GlendaF: but it wasn't nice to say you would rip up the booklet
KristyS: I hope that you see the importance of this project and getting along with others.
GlendaF: it took me a long time to make it perfect and straight.
GlendaF: i know...
GlendaF: they didn't say I did a good job, either
LauraH: like I said that we only did that when u put hand copied by sheila
LauraH: hand copied by sheila
KristyS: What are some things that both of you can work on to improve this?
LauraH: yes we did and that's why we wanted u to copy it we said that u wrote the nicest
GlendaF: yeah, but...
LauraH: no more buts
LauraH: just get over it
LauraH: take hand copied off the front cover -
GlendaF: i just want the teacher to know what a good job I did.
KristyS: I agree, let's move on to solve this problem!
GlendaF: ok
GlendaF: sorry
LauraH: and we will not put our names on the poster
GlendaF: I want to solve the problem.
KristyS: Great ideas Jimmy and Sheila...you are making progress!
LauraH smiles
GlendaF: it's okay for you to put your names on the poster if you worked hard. I just don't see why i can't say I copied the pages in the book. I said you wrote part of it.
GlendaF: i don't see wha'ts wrong with that
LauraH: Fine we will put only our names on the poster
KristyS: I think both of you will find that it is funner to work together (when you get along) than working alone and doing all of the work.
GlendaF: no, your names are on the booklet, too. it just says that I did the printing.
GlendaF: i guess so.
LauraH: u are ok with not having your name on the poster
GlendaF: you guys did the drawing - that's fine with me
KristyS: Great work!
GlendaF: this is really hard.
LauraH: ok u give us credit for our part of the paper and the whole poster and you get credit for your part of the paper and coping it
GlendaF: that's what i mean
LauraH: ok i will tell peter
KristyS: It is difficult and you're doing a nice job.
KristyS: Good idea Jimmy!
LauraH: I hope that Mrs. Haver is ok with this . she wanted us to work together
KristyS: So will the poster be handed in on time by three happy students.
LauraH: do u think she will think this is ok?
GlendaF: it's ok
GlendaF: with me
LauraH: fine
KristyS: Mrs. Haver will be impressed with your work and your effort to solve this problem.
LauraH: ok then
GlendaF: do you think so?
KristyS: Thanks for working out this problem.
GlendaF: I want her to think we did a good job.
KristyS: Oh she will!
GlendaF: ok
LauraH: ok

Report prepared by Kristy Sands

An English Teacher Feud:

An English Teacher Feud

Mediation Session: Saturday, May 1, 2004 at 7:30 pm.

Disputants: Stacy and Lucille, two English teachers that were arguing with each other over the way they treat each other at their department meetings.

Lucille’s Story: Lucille feels as though Stacy is too open with her personal problems and that Stacy monopolizes department meetings with these problems. She states that teachers have offered Stacy advice, but Stacy refuses to use the advice. Lucille also believes Stacy has a problem with classroom management, but only gives two examples.

Clarifying questions asked:

~Lucille started out by stating that Stacy burdens everyone at the English Department meetings.
~What type of burdens?
~Lucille did not give an example but continued to say that advice to Stacy had been offered but that Stacy refuses to use the advice.
~How do you know that she is not taking the other teachers advice?
~There was no response to this, so again as mediator I tried for her to state a specific example.
~Lucille, can you give a specific example?
~Lucille mentions a former student that did well in her class but has been failing in Stacy’s.
~What do you feel the problem is?
~The only responses to this were negative and personal attacks on Stacy. I tried to diffuse the situation with another question.
~Have you given her any suggestions?
~There was never any response to this, and so I tried to get Stacy to tell her side of the story until later when I tried to mention the student with the problem.
~How does Donald play a role in this?

Stacy’s Story: Stacy feels as though Lucille picks on her, bullies her. Lucille is all too often telling her what to do. Stacy believes it is not Lucille’s place to tell her what to do. Lucille has jumped to some conclusions about Stacy and her classes.

Clarifying questions asked:

~Stacy and Lucille were too busy taking shots at each other to really get a chance for Stacy to tell her story. She did mention that Lucille bullies her.
~Is this happening just at the department meetings?
~There never was a true response to this, but I got the feeling the bullying happens all the time. Since Stacy was not able to openly tell her story, I asked to her to evaluate herself to start to come to a resolution.
~But Stacy, do you feel as though at times you are off topic at meetings.
~Stacy did admit that she at times gets off topic but not to the extent that Lucille feels she does. Since this road started getting some answers, I continued.
~Are there any problems that you are having as a new teacher?
~Stacy said that she has been teaching for 3 years and no longer considers herself a new teacher, but believes Lucille to have the wrong idea about the behavior of her students and clarified with an example.

We did not get much further in either side telling their story, so ideas for resolutions started.

Solutions offered: The problems were straight forward enough that not too many solutions were offered.

~Lucille started by stating that she is willing to stop offering Stacy advice. At the same time she would like to see Stacy stay on track at department meetings.
~Stacy offered to be “on my behavior” at department meetings.
~Lucille also offered to say that she would be willing to give advice if Stacy were to ask her.

Resolution: These two colleagues I doubt will ever be friends, as they seem to have a dislike for each other. They did come to an agreement however.

~Lucille stated that she would not give unwanted advice.
~Stacy stated that she would follow the agenda of the department meetings.
~They both agreed that any further disputes would be handled with a third party.

Meta-Mediation: I found this very difficult as a mediator. Right from the start the two disputants personally attacked each other, and without being in the same room as them it was difficult to control. This type of forum made it far to easy to interrupt each other and to cross the original agreement made at the beginning of the session. (In fact they went after each other before either of them had a chance to read the terms of the session.) It is hard to say if anything went smoothly until the end when they both decided on the resolution. I think they both knew that they would not be able to get past their dislike for each other.

Since the two disputants showed such bitterness toward each other, if I was to do this again, I would like to sit down with each of them individually before bringing them together. This would give me a chance to hear both sides of the story without the two of them attacking each other. After having heard both sides, I would bring them together and let them know how the other feels she is being treated so that a resolution could be made. I think this would help diffuse the cattiness.

TappedIn Log:

MarthaK: I want to thank you for meeting with me. It shows that you both are willing to try and come to terms with each other on your conflict.
MarthaK: Just some guidelines. Try not to interrupt each other. You will both be given the floor to have your say. I want you to be honest with each and to say what you are feeling. If you hold back, whatever solution we come to will not mean much. We come to a conclusion to this development through this mediation. Do you both agree?
KristyS: The only conflict here is Stacey's lack of experience
MaryQ: Excuse meee
MarthaK: Lucille, I will need you to please keep a positive attitude.
MarthaK: Before this gets out of hand, do the two of you agree to the terms stated?
MaryQ: Sure, I mean, I just to do a good job
MaryQ: want to do
KristyS: Of course.
MarthaK: Would one of you like to go first and state the problem that you are having?
MaryQ: Age before beauty'
MarthaK: Mary. . .
KristyS: I've tried to give Stacy some guidance, but she doesn't seem to hear anything that Isay and if she doesn't want my advise than I don't want to hear about her problems nor does the rest of the staff
MaryQ: Sorry
MarthaK: Opps! Stacy. . .
KristyS: This is exactly what I'm talking about...lack of experience...lack of professionalism
MaryQ: I have never asked for your advice. I've taken educational psychology and I don't need help from someone like you
MarthaK: Lucille, I was under the impression that you are attending this meeting because you want to get past this conflict.
KristyS: Obviously you do because you can't control your classes and you cry about all of the problems you have at every meeting
MarthaK: STOP!
MarthaK: Lucille, state your problem for us.
MarthaK: Generalize, without the negative comments
KristyS: My problem is that Stacey burdens everybody in the English department and in the school in general with all of her petty problems, but never listens to the advice that others give to her.
MarthaK: what type of burdens?
KristyS: I believe that Stacey feels that our advice simply is a bunch of outdated tactics
MarthaK: so they are school related.
MaryQ: Just because I share doesn't can't handle my classes!! It's not up to you to criticize me.
MarthaK: Stacy, you will get your turn.
MaryQ: Well, it's very for me to sit here and listen to her belittle me
KristyS: She carries on and on at staff meetings about stuff that nobody cares about.
MaryQ: says you
MarthaK: How do you know that she is not taking the other teachers advice?
KristyS: I've been attending these staff meetings for over 12 years and I know that nobody wants you taking up all of their valuable time.
MaryQ: You think you own the staff meetings!
MarthaK: Lucille, can you give a specific example?
KristyS: Well for example, Stacey has one of my former students in her class this year...who is difficult, but talented and he has just gone downhill this year.
MarthaK: what do you feel the problem is?
KristyS: He is in the principal's office everyday during her class because she doesn't know how to handle him.
MarthaK: Have you given her any suggestions?
KristyS: She nneds to take control of her students and teach them and not worry about if her hair looks good with her new shade od lipstick.
MaryQ: Hold on, if you're talking about Donald, you don't know everything about the situation
MaryQ: Stop insulting me or I'm out of here
KristyS: If she is having problems with her students, she should seek help from her mentor or an administrator, not the entire staff
MarthaK: Lucille, I will have to ask that you refrain from using the snide remarks.
KristyS: I will not mention any student names here, but trust me it is a problem with more than one student.
MarthaK: Then Lucille, state for us what should be discussed at the department meetings.
KristyS: The department meetings should be used to discuss curriculum issues, differentiation, and topics that pertain to ENGLISH!!!
MarthaK: Thank you Lucille. Stacy?
MaryQ: That's just the point. I'm not having problems with my students. The principal has complimented me on my classroom management, and I got an excellent review. You just think you're the boss, but guess what--you're not!!
KristyS: Instead she talks about her latest love interrest, which students are dating whom, and issues that have no place inside of the school environment.
MarthaK: Talk to me Stacy.
MaryQ: That's a lie--
MaryQ: I don't know why Lucille has chosen me to pick on. I think she's a bully, and I want it to stop
KristyS: I have the whole English department behind me here.
MaryQ: Another lie
MarthaK: Is this happening just at the department meetings.
KristyS: I am not a bully, just simply trying to return the department meetings to English not gossip.
MarthaK: Lucille, please do not interrupt - remember the agreement.
MaryQ: I am not gossiping--just because I relate some experiences in my room doesn't mean I'm gossiping
KristyS: Oh no...she carries on at the staff meetings as well...asking questions that had already been discussed while she was too busy chatting with the young male teachers in the back.
MaryQ: OMG, you witch
MarthaK: Both of you need to stop.
KristyS: I hope this is not how you behave in your classroom.
MaryQ: Who do you think you are? Is this how YOU treat your students?
MarthaK: I want you two to both speak to me as if the other is not in the room.
MaryQ: with pleasure
MaryQ: I just want her to stop the personal attacks
MarthaK: Then I need the other to listen without the personal attacks.
KristyS: Then maybe you should leave your personal life at home.
MaryQ: If I'm doing something wrong, it is not up to her to correct me
MaryQ: there she goes again
MarthaK: Lucille, that is what I am talking about.
MaryQ: This is hopeless.
MarthaK: Lucille, you need to be able to LISTEN in order to come to any type of compromise.
MarthaK: Let me speak for a moment.
KristyS: I am just looking to resolve the problem here, but Stacey needs to recognize her faults first.
MarthaK: From what I am hearing. . .
MarthaK: Lucille feels as though Stacy you get off topic at times. . .
MarthaK: Stacy feels as though Lucille you are picking on her. . .
MarthaK: Do either of you feel this way about what I have just said?
MaryQ: She does pick on me
MarthaK: But Stacy, do you feel as though at times you are off topic at meetings.
KristyS: I am honestly not picking on her, just trying to get her on the right track I am simply the only one who will speak up about the problem...she has great potential and would like to see her succeed
MaryQ: Well, I suppose it's possible that sometimes I go off, but not like she's saying
MarthaK: Lucille, is there a less aggressive approach that you can take?
MaryQ: and I still don't think it's her place to correct me
MarthaK: Lucille, you stated yourself that Stacy's mentor or administrators
MarthaK: should be helping her.
KristyS: You know Stacey I may seem ancient to you, but it wasn't all that long ago that I was a new teacher and I made the same mistakes that Isee you making and I only wish I had somebody to let me know what Iwas doing wrong.
MaryQ: But I don't feel that way. If I want help, I'll ask for it
KristyS: I'm looking in your best interest and that of the students that attend this school.
MarthaK: Again, Lucille do think there is a less aggressive approach that you can take?
MaryQ: Mind your own business
MarthaK: Stacy. . .
MaryQ: Well, I don't think she even hears me
MarthaK: Do you hear what she is saying?
MaryQ: I am not her business
KristyS: You know I'd love to mind my own business, but I just hope you know that your students are the ones that will suffer.
MarthaK: Are there any problems that you are having as a new teacher?
MaryQ: I take my job very seriously, and I have been teaching for almost 3 years, so I'm not really a new teacher
KristyS: A little honest criticism goes along way if you can just accept it instead of fighting it.
MaryQ: a little criticism--you attack me on a personal level
MaryQ: How would you like it if I attacked your old-fashioned hair style and red lipstick. You know, the pixie cut went out years ago!
MarthaK: Lucille, you said she has a lot of potential. Would you teach a student with this type of potential in the same way?
KristyS: In what way is that specifically?
MaryQ: Well, I even understand that. See how out of touch she is?
MarthaK: From the tone I have been seeing, the personal attacking?
KristyS: This is exactly what happens at all of the meetings.
KristyS: For starters I am open to asking questions to clarify information, not to humiliate and embarass.
MaryQ: like you do to me?
MarthaK: This is what Stacy feels you do to her.
MarthaK: How would a student of yours react?
MarthaK: Think of Stacy as a student.
MaryQ: Wait a second...
KristyS: My students are not reprimanded for asking questions.
MarthaK: Clarify. . .
MarthaK: Lucille. . .
KristyS: There are specific times allocated for asking questions and addressing concerns in my classes.
KristyS: No student then jeopardizes a whole class period.
MarthaK: And you feel Stacy monopolizes the department meetings.
KristyS: I see where you're going with this, but I think the problem here is that Stacy does not realize what her problem is.
KristyS: Yes.
MarthaK: And you feel as though what she asks or wants to discuss is not important to everyone at the meeting?
MarthaK: Is there an agenda at each meeting?
KristyS: Exactly. Do you care whether she buys a dress or pant suit for graduation?
MarthaK: Is there an agenda?
KristyS: Yes. And it does not include Stacy's shopping list.
MarthaK: Lucille, just answer the questions.
KristyS: Yes there is an agenda.\
MarthaK: Your remarks will only cause more back at you.
MarthaK: Okay.
MarthaK: Stacy, do you agree with what has been said?
MarthaK: Stacy?
MaryQ: I honestly don't I do talk about personal issues like she claims. I mean, if I do, why is she the only o ne who is here?
MaryQ: don't think
MaryQ: Sure, I talk to my friends, but never during a meeting. Afterwards. She must eavesdrop
MarthaK: No one else has mentioned this to you?
MaryQ: NO, just Lucille
KristyS: Well just sit in the lounge sometime and you'll hear all about it.
MarthaK: How does Donald play a role in this?
KristyS: I never mentioned Donald.
MaryQ: Well, he's the student she was talking about
KristyS: I never mentioned a name.
MaryQ: I've been letting him go to the office when he wants to because his mother was just diagnosed with cancer and he is very depressed
MarthaK: He has not been a problem in class?
KristyS: It is difficult to see my former students go downhill in her classes.
MarthaK: Stacy?
MaryQ: No, but sometimes his eyes tear up, and I don't want him to be embarassed, so we have a secret sign that he can get up and leave
MarthaK: Lucille, I do not want you jumping to conclusions.
KristyS: This isn't about one student.
MaryQ: I thought we were here because I talk too much. Make up your mind, Lucille. We don't have all day
MarthaK: Lucille, again could you be jumping to conclusions about others.
MarthaK: other studetns?
KristyS: My best friend's son is currently in Stacey's class and last year he had a solid B at the end of the year and this year he has a D.
KristyS: She makes him copy pages out of the dictionary when she can't control him.
KristyS: Maybe she ought to read his IEP.
MaryQ: I am NOT going to sit here and discuss a student
KristyS: Well then why were you talking about Donald?
MaryQ: that's different. That's a personal issue, not an educational one
KristyS: These are the issues that I have been trying to help you with Stacy, not attack you about.
MaryQ: I repeat, I don't want your help
MarthaK: As teachers, we should be well aware that students respond differently to different teachers.
MarthaK: What works for one does not work for all.
MarthaK: You may fail where others succeed and vice versa.
KristyS: So when students in this building have personal problems you can discuss them, but why not when it comes to academics...our jobs as educators is to mmet the needs of all of our students..not just the ones with personal problems.
KristyS: IF she doesn't want my advice that is fine, but it is very difficult to see her students fail.
MaryQ: I am only discussing it with you behind closed doors. but I will not discuss your best friend's son so you can go back and repeat what I've said
MarthaK: This will be done, but in an appropriate manner.
MarthaK: The two of you need to come to some kind of agreement.
KristyS: I am willing to stop trying to help Stacy and I'd like to see her stay on task at meetings in a professional manner.
MaryQ: If I need help, I will to the assistant principal or another teacher. But I want Lucille to get off my back.
MaryQ: At meetings, I will be on my best behavior
KristyS: Done deal.
MarthaK: Lucille. . .
MarthaK: Any problems that you have with ANY teacher should be taken up with their supervisor.
MarthaK: Stacy. . .
KristyS: And I hope you know that if you do need help that you can always talk to me...you know where my room is.
MaryQ: yes
MarthaK: As you have stated, meetings should be kept for the business at hand. . .
KristyS: It was always my intention to help.
MaryQ: well, honestly, you have a very hurtful way of helping
MarthaK: . . .any problems should be discussed with the department head for the next meeting.
MarthaK: To plan accordingly.
KristyS: Thanks for taking your time to help resolve this problem.
MarthaK: I did not plan on the two of you walking out of here friends.
MaryQ: I just want to be left alone
MarthaK: But I feel as though you are at an impass.
MaryQ: I agree
MaryQ: Have we agreed that Lucille will stop offering unwanted advice?
MarthaK: Do the two of you agree that any further problems that you have will be discussed with a third party?
KristyS: Absolutely.
MarthaK: Remember that you set examples for your students.
MaryQ: I hope there won't be any more, but yes.
MaryQ: Thank you for your effort
MarthaK: Thank you for meeting. It shows that you are willing to put effort into this.
KristyS: Yes this has been increbibly helpful and insightful.

Report prepared by Martha Kelly

Course Work:

Collective Works

Wonderments

Talking Essays

References

Peer Feedback