Title of the Conflict: School Bus Fight

 
Dates of the Meditation Session: March 11, 2008

                                                                                   Conflict Resolution Project

Description of the Disputants: The disputants are two 5th grade students involved in an incident on the school bus. Denise, a 5th grader, is a sometimes mouthy student. Sally is usually non-confrontational but a knife (toy knife?) is involved. Sally’s mother was stabbed with a knife and had to be treated at a hospital. Because of this previous incident, Sally becomes extremely distraught and angry with Denise.

 Summary of the First Story:

             In the morning on the school bus an incident occurred between two 5th graders-Denise and Sally. The first disputant Denise had brought a plastic knife to school and had the knife with her on the bus. The plastic knife was to be used in her class to demonstrate and model how to make her lunch. Denise took the knife out of her book bag .Sally upon seeing the knife, started to yell that Denise was threatening her. Sally pushed Denise. The bus driver yelled at both of them. When asked to produce the knife, Denise did not have the knife upon her person. When asked the whereabouts of the plastic knife, she replied that she threw it in the garbage can. Denise denies jabbing Sally. Denise said that she only showed her the knife. Denise believes throwing the knife in the garbage can sacrificed her points on her presentation grade. Sally believes that it was a real knife.

 
Clarifying Questions that were Asked

          Sally stated that she thought that the knife was real. Denise clarified this by stating that it was only a Fischer price knife which is made to look real. When asked by Sally to prove that it was truly a Fischer Price knife, Denise stated that she could not because she threw the knife in the garbage.

 
Summary of the Second Story:
 
Sally was on the bus when Denise approached her. They began joking with each other but the joke suddenly changed when Denise pulled out a knife. Denise threatened her and jabbed the knife at her. According to Sally, the bus driver saw the knife too. Sally stated she was scared.

 Clarifying Remarks:

             Denise stated that she would never bring a real knife to school. Denise also stated that she was just playing around. Denise stated she didn’t jab her. She said maybe she just showed the knife to Sally. Sally believes it is a real knife because she wouldn’t be afraid of a plastic knife. Denise said that the knife might have looked real because it was a Fisher-Price knife. Denise can’t prove this because she threw it out. Denise knows that she is not supposed to bring a knife to school. They stated that they used to be friends. Sally admitted to having hurt feelings. Denise responded that it was wrong of Sally to push her and yell at her.
 
List of Solutions: The following solutions were discussed by Denise, Sally, and Telly.

  1. Not to joke around with one another.
  2. Not to bring a fake knife to for any reasons, even a presentation. A ruler was suggested for replacement in future presentations.
  3. Not to jab anything at each other.
  4. Not to sit next to each other on the bus.
  5. Not to spread rumors about each other
  6. Possibly not talk to each other(unsure if possible)

 Resolution:

  1.     Denise and Sally promised not to play around with each other.
  2.     Denise agreed that there were no knives at school, plastic or otherwise, even if the knifes were for a project.
  3.      Denise and Sally will treat each other with respect.
  4.     Denise and Sally will not tease one another.
  5.      The teacher will follow up on Denise and Sally’s resolution to cooperate with one another.
  6.      Not wanting further trouble or parental involvement (especially on the part of Denise), there were promises on both sides to be good.

 Critique of the Mediation:

         The mediation on the whole went smoothly. Unsure of how to begin the assignment, we started the chat. Once we started chatting, the assignment began to flow. Having the opportunity to play a fifth grader, the participants really became the characters. It was often laugh out loud funny the way the participants assumed the role of fifth graders, complete with the fifth grade mind set. I think given the subject matter and the climate in today’s society this matter would not have been settled without the involvement of the administration and the parents. Bringing a knife to school whether, toy or not, is considered a serious matter and not something to be taken as lightly.

        The idea of role playing is a good exercise. I think sometimes teachers forget what it was like to be a student of that age. Remembering what it was like at that age gives insight in how to relate to the students. The mediation exercise also teaches communication skills to be used in the classroom.

          One the problem that we encountered was that the typing took awhile to do .Possibly the use of gismo would make the conversation flow quicker. On the whole the assignment was successful. The use of mediation is a useful tool for the classroom and a skill to transfer into real life situations. Again, I believe that given the situation in today’s schools, there would be a no tolerance policy for any type of weapons. The administration would be involved and most likely the police. Mediation tactics are good problem solving skills for students to use in their future life. Mediation should be incorporated into the school curriculum.

 Mediation Conversation Log

 

18:52: Sally Sam has just entered this chat

 

18:52 Sally: Hi there

 

18:52 Telly: hello sally

 

18:53 Telly: good evening. I welcome you both to this mediation session.

 

18:53 Sally: Does this automatically record our chat session?

 

18:53 Telly: i believe so

 

18:53 Sally: Thanks Telly smile

 

18:53 Sally: Shall we begin? I'm pretty upset at Denise

 

18:54 Telly: I, Telly Whipbeck, your teacher will attempt to mediate the incident you both were involved with this morning.

 

18:55 Sally: Is Denise here?

 

18:55 Denise: Yes I am

 

18:55 Telly: Before we begin I want to make sure you understand the rules for this mediation. I will be the mediator. I won't take anyone's side and I will remain neutral. Do you understand my role?

 

18:55 Denise: Yes

 

18:55 Sally: Yes Ms. Whipbeck

 

18:56 Telly: Next, everyone will get a change to talk. when Denise is talking sally you are not allowed to interrupt. when sally is talking, Denise you are not allowed to interrupt.

 

18:56 Telly: okay with both of you.

 

18:57 Sally: Fiiiiiine

 

18:57 Denise: I guess

 

18:57 Telly: also, there will be no name calling or put downs. please be honest and truthfully tell what has occurred.

 

18:58 Telly: Most importantly we are here to solve the problem and resolve your differences. ok with you both?

 

18:58 Denise: (I'm supposed to be cocky so does that mean I am supposed to interrupt and cause problems?)

 

18:58 Denise: (I don't want to be rude)

 

18:59 Telly: (i guess)

 

18:59 Denise: O.K. I'm apologizing in advance

 

18:59 Sally: (No, no it's ok...I'll probably be "rude" too)

 

18:59 Telly: well who would like to go first?

 

18:59 Sally: She can, she's at fault

 

19:00 Denise: Whatever

 

19:00 Telly: no putdowns

 

19:00 Denise: I brought a plastic knife to school today for my how to make a lunch demonstration and she started yelling at me that I was threatening her

 

19:00 Denise: And then she started pushing me and the bus drive yelled at us both

 

19:00 Sally: Can I talk now?

 

19:01 Telly: ok Denise please describe what happened and why it is a conflict and how do you feel about it.

 

19:01 Denise: I'm not done

 

19:01 Telly: no

 

19:01 Telly: please continue Denise

 

19:01 Denise: I don't have it anymore because I threw it in the trash can on the way in to school and it cost me points on my grade

 

19:01 Denise: for my presentation

 

19:02 Denise: She can go now even though it won't be the truth

 

19:03 Telly: ok so you brought a knife and sally said you were threatening her with it

 

19:03 Sally: Yes!

 

19:03 Sally: She was threatening me. she jabbed it at me on the bus. The bus driver saw it too

 

19:03 Telly: and you deny this Denise

 

19:03 Denise: I didn't jab her i maybe showed it to her

 

19:04 Sally: It was scary!

 

19:04 Telly: sally do you have any questions to clarify what has happened

 

19:04 Sally: yes, I think it is a real knife. I wouldn't have been scared of a plastic knife

 

19:05 Telly: Denise do you want to reply to this

 

19:05 Denise: It was fisher price they make them look real on purpose

 

19:05 Denise: Otherwise people wouldn't buy them

 

19:05 Sally: Prove it. I don't believe you

 

19:05 Telly: ok sally do you want to tell your side of the story

 

19:05 Denise: I threw it away because I knew you would tattle

 

19:06 Telly: Denise give sally a chance to speak

 

19:06 Sally: Can I talk now please Ms W?

 

19:06 Telly: go ahead

 

19:06 Denise: o.k.

 

19:07 Sally: So Denise and I were on the bus and she approached me, we were joking and stuff and then I guess it wasn’t joking anymore. I turn around and she is has a knife in her hand. It was real, I swear Ms W

 

19:07 Telly: do you have anything else to add sally

 

19:08 Sally: No, I'm just scared

 

19:08 Denise: I know that you aren't supposed to bring a real knife to school and I know I would get in trouble so why would I do that

 

19:09 Telly: Denise are there any clarifying questions that you have

 

19:09 Denise: I didn't threaten her I thought we were playing around

 

19:09 Denise: We WERE best friends

 

19:10 Telly: sally would you like to respond

 

19:10 Sally: Until you jabbed that thing at me

 

19:10 Telly: alright lets see what we can do to resolve this

 

19:10 Sally: I just think it's wrong, I'm hurt

 

19:11 Denise: It was wrong for you to push me and yell at me

 

19:11 Telly: Denise what can you do to resolve the parts of the conflict for which you were responsible

 

19:12 Denise: I won't bring a fake knife for my presentation I guess next time I could pretend with a stupid ruler

 

19:12 Telly: please make positive comments and think about sally's feelings

 

19:13 Telly: sally what can you do to resolve the parts of the conflict for which you were responsible

 

19:14 Sally: I guess I could not joke around with Denise anymore?

 

19:14 Telly: ok. good suggestion

 

19:14 Telly: Denise do you have anything more to say

 

19:15 Sally: Maybe she can not jab things at me anymore

 

19:15 Denise: I guess we just won't talk to each other anymore

 

19:15 Denise: Or maybe sit in different parts of the bus

 

19:15 Telly: do you think that is possible

 

19:16 Sally: Yah, I'm not sitting next to her, even if it was a plastic knife

 

19:16 Telly: ok lets make a list to resolve th conflict in a positive way

 

19:16 Denise: As long as she doesn't spread rumors about me I won't mess with her

 

19:16 Telly: no putdowns

 

19:16 Denise: sorry

 

19:17 Telly: ok what should be the first thing on our list

 

19:17 Sally: No knifes at school

 

19:17 Denise: I won't play around with her

 

19:17 Telly: ok, plastic or otherwise

 

19:17 Sally: *Knives

 

19:17 Telly: ok, no teasing

 

19:18 Telly: anything else that you both want to add to our list

 

19:18 Sally: I just don't get why she would want to scare me like that

 

19:18 Telly: Denise

 

19:19 Denise: We were playing around

 

19:19 Telly: ok so we can't play around any more

 

19:19 Sally: How would you like it if I jabbed you with a knife, even if it was plastic?

 

19:19 Telly: you have to treat each other with respect

 

19:20 Sally: I agree

 

19:20 Telly: Denise do you agree

 

19:20 Denise: I agree

 

19:21 Telly: ok so we won't play around, no knives even if they are for a project, we will treat each other with respect and no teasing. do you agree?

 

19:21 Sally: I suppose so

 

19:21 Denise: I guess

 

19:21 Telly: and you Denise

 

19:22 Telly: thank you for speaking to each other

 

19:22 Sally: Yep, I'm glad my friend didn't intently jab a knife at me

 

19:23 Telly: I will check back with you to make sure you are keeping your resolution to cooperate with each other

 

19:24 Sally: Good idea! You'll have to keep your eye out on Denise smileI'll keep my end of the bargain!

 

19:24 Telly: think positive sally

 

19:24 Denise: I can't get into anymore trouble or my parents will yell at me so I guess I will be good

 

19:24 Telly: thank you Denise

 

19:25 Telly: good job you were very entertaining

 

19:25 Denise: I tried not to be to smart

 

19:25 Sally: haha thanks for putting up with us,

 

19:26 Denise: I guess this will save the transcript somewhere???

 

19:26 Sally: You did well as a Mediator Ann

 

19:26 Sally: I hope so....

 

19:26 Telly: i guess that is that is it. i'll write it up

 

19:26 Sally: Thanks Ann...have a nice evening everyone!

 

19:26 Denise: Bye

 

19:27 Telly: hope to work with you again. it was fun

 

19:27: Sally Sam has left this chat

 

19:29: Denise Dwayne has left this chat